"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."

"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."

"Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second."

"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

"You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time."

"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!"

"Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture."

"Before you beat a child, be sure yourself are not the cause of the offense."

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

"The only aspect of our travels that is interesting to others is disaster."

"Life's truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way."

"The whole problem with news on television comes down to this: all the words uttered in an hour of news coverage could be printed on page of a newspaper. And the world cannot be understood in one page."